so they can think it is uphill.

it rings like all through the daylight.

The end is coming and i must say i am not really surprised. I have been writing about how i want to get out of here, but the more i think about it the more i dont want to go home. i have gotten used to being away from it all and i think that i am really better for it.

something that is terrifying me is the concept of money tied to all of our happiness these days. i remember when i just didnt care. i would like to say that now i dont, but it does seem to take me over. whatever happened to not having to worry? are you really and truly not able to live the way you want in this world? the idea of unattainable has begun to slip into my mind. it was a word that i never really considered, but now i am seeing a little more of it everyday as i think about how i can live and how i want to live. i have been trying to discover what midlife crisis means and i have begun to come to the conclusion that it is the realization of the unattainable. the idea that this is as good as it gets and nothing is really going to top it so its all downhill from here. thats why people have the church. so that they can think it is going uphill. makes you a little less depressed i guess. i sort of see it the same way either way. there is no end to what we are. so is there even a word unattainable? we keep moving and we find out. never stop. keep moving.

tim.