simplest things around me.

love is a doing word.

can one ever relax? i finish what needs dong when i look around the house then i do the things that dont need doing but i do them anyways. i grow impatient under these circumstances and displeased at the simplest things around me now. i am sure that every second of every day is filled from. wake to rest i am sure of this. i dont know why id do the things i do other than out of impatience and boredom. i grow tired now though and i wonder when i will be done with all the work i make for myself. one day, and this is a goal for life, i pray that i will wake up, rise from bed, think unto what i have done and be happy with the accomplishments, knowing that nothing else can be done in my power. thatll be the day right? right now i just miss my love, so i stay occupied and keep moving to.

tim.

i guess its about money.

i wish you make up my bed so i could make up my mind.

im sorry but i have to say something politically. well its not really a political thing, more of a personal thing that has to do with politics. senator jim demint spoke to the idea of denying the healthcare reform was to create a 'waterloo' for obama. referring to napoleon's defeat and eventual downfall at waterloo. the idea of looking past a reform and voting on a bill based on a personal attack of a political official rather than your actual feelings on the issue. hes not the only one to do this either (william kristol).

the healthcare bill isnt about destroying health insurance companies. its about monitoring them so they dont create out of hand premiums based entirely on making money for the companies. it is also aimed at giving some sort of insurance to the 47 million americans that currently have no health insurance. the government is not taking over the system and putting companies and employees out of work.

besides this, when did healthcare become about making money. doctors are one of the highest payed individuals in the world and hospitals have become more about money than saving lives. whatever happened the the spirit of the human being to help one another?

i guess its about money anymore. keep moving.

tim.

consequence is all the same.

theyll charge you with the rescue blues.

work right now is quite a predicament. loss prevention has declared the the amount of money entering and leaving the business isnt coming out right. somewhere in the range of 3000+ has disappeared. the only people capable of this are myself and 5 other people. its not me. everyone knows that too so im not worried. its not the manager because it disappeared when she was on leave. that leaves 4 others. its not the newest one because it disappeared before she got there. that leaves 3. 1 i dont like and thus hope it is her. 1 i like and feel bad for. 1 i think is really trying and while i dont necessarily agree with her lifestyle i have to agree that she is doing the best she can for her children. i would like it to come out as an accounting error but i really dont think it will. as i look at what i have noticed over the last 2 weeks i have a feeling its that last 1 mentioned. she didnt have a thing when she was a kid and she doesnt have anything now. her kids spend more time with their grandmother then they ever have with mom or dad. she works 2 jobs and shops the sales. a casserole will make 3 meals for the price of 1/2. she lives week to week and i think her weeks are up. its a terrible thing in life to see the ones in need fall by the wayside and the ones needless rise to the top of the sun soaked pool. there is nothing that i can do and regardless of how i feel the consequence is all the same. so i do nothing but think that everyone is fighting a hard battle and no battle has a victor. thus i watch and wait and keep moving.

tim.

what i would write.

if only you believe like i believe, we'd get by

so there is this girl that is always on my mind. i try to write her a message every night but some nights i just can not find the words to say what it is i am trying to say. being that it is summer now i am away from her and i will tell you it is an awful feeling to wake up away from the one you love. but distance has a way of giving you a beautiful perspective on love. as i sat and thought tonight of what i would write i thought of a friend of mine separated by distance from his love of two years and how it tore them apart. distance can do that. it is as a burst of air rushing through a canyon and love is the flame. wind extinguishes a candle, yet fire is fanned. i thought what a wonderful analogy of distance and love, if only it had not already been created. as plato says 'at the touch of love everyone becomes a poet' such is life. keep moving.

tim.

383.2 miles and 7 days.

stay frosty.

last week we took our first car ride together in over a month. that month seems to have flown by now that i look back. halfway through summer now. schools coming up again much to the dislike of myself. i wish that i was done with school now. i think that is a sophomore mentality. you see your first class graduate and you hear about how wonderful their lives are and the places they are going. it makes you overly anxious about the life that is to come. i just want to get started on making a name for myself and seeing where i can go.

most important to me now is getting to her. i can hold her and i can love her but it is only for a moment and then reality strikes and i have to let her go back to her family. i want the family she goes back to to be our family and i want that family now. the last seven days made up for the 900 or so alright and bad days that have been in my life. from our first car ride to unloading her bags we went 383.2 miles together and i loved every inch of it. i am sad to see the good moments pass, but i am happy that i have cherished every second available to us. i guess thats what i learned this week more than anything. that you have always got to be ready to take life in; expect the unexpected, and remember every moment. because you never know when the happiest moment of your life will come upon you, and you definitely want it to keep moving.

tim.