the clarinets blasting late into the night as i sit and wait. i wait for someone or something to strike me and add a reason for the existence of life in me. i look for meaning in every action i take and i find no answer clearer than the next. for this i am always questioning what it is that makes it all work. why is it that everything in the world and in the galaxy and universe can all click cohesively. to imagine the chance of the bodies of dirt and matter collecting and then creating worlds that orbit around glowing bodies of energy and on at least one the circumstances came together and happened to lead to the creation of life one of which rising above the rest and making our world around us. the chance of all of that happening seems so insignificant that i consider myself lucky to be here. however i find this all the more frustrating when it comes to the everyday. my chances of being created are far less than that of winning the lottery and yet i sit here typing 19 plus years after my creation and i have not won the lottery. i suppose i will keep playing and just keep moving.
tim.
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