dont be full of shit and talk to me. i met someone today that has started from the ground is now just reaching the place where he is worth something. then he sees me and realizes that i havent quite gotten to my worth-full place yet. he thinks he is smart as he sneers at me from across the table, but i know the everything that he has in his mind. his idea of importance compared to those around him. his ideas of value. his first feeling of success in a long line of failures and mild conclusions. while he thinks he is getting one up he is only secretly failing. a secret unbeknownst to himself until a later date. but i let him have his moment. he looked like he needed it. as much as it kills me to think of him smiling as i walked away after his accomplishment of nothing i let it go. i dont know why. it is a secret unbeknownst to me only to reveal itself in the grand scheme of things at a later date. life is full of times like that. i still want to slap him upside the head and ask why if he can move, why he doesnt. maybe then he would see a profound and life changing side of himself to add meaning to the words he was speaking. that maybe he has life inside of him, not just a facade that squirms its way out in an awful and painful manner every day. twice a day.
so dont. dont talk to me if you are full of shit. id rather not hear it from you. i could talk to myself about things more important than they really are and i dont have to see you to do it. add worth to what you say or dont say it at all. this is always what keeps me looking for something in everything i say, do, act, think, live and yet even i havent found it. so i keep moving.
tim.
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