its been a long couple of weeks. or months now i guess. everything rushed through so fast i think i just zoned out. its necessary to zone out sometimes. it lets all those little things slide right past you. all those harsh words and misunderstandings. you do lose some. the good stuff that is. all those little words that make you laugh or smile in the day. theres a lot of those for me. more so than most people i would say. i giggle inside to myself and it helps me through the rough times. gets me in trouble sometimes too. probably shouldnt laugh at the things that are sad. some say it is a coping mechanism. i say its a necessary adaptation to our world. one that makes it a little brighter.
i was thinking about being in middle school and how much i thought it mattered. then i thought about high school and how serious all of that was. the relationships. the friends. the people. the places. how insignificant all of those things really are. none of it mattered at all now. im not that person anymore. im better for all of it. but im ashamed the things ive done the places ive gone and the people ive hurt. we all have a past though. there are no rules to life. ive tried a lot of styles, but the only way to live your life is the way that you are how you want to be. dont judge others for being sad, happy, hurt or glad. do what you want to be, be who you want to be and keep moving because regardless everything else keeps moving.
tim.
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